A long time ago — well one week ago — the much heralded “North American Eclipse” came to Allen. Weather forecasters happily forecasted that we probably wouldn’t be able to see it anyway. Clouds they said. I watched all this with a sort of wishy-washy attitude. I sort of wanted to see it but I sure wasn’t going to drive down toward Idabel and position myself so I could experience the full eclipse experience. I saw on my TV the story of this one family dragging their family and their trailer 1,700 miles to Texas so they could experience this historical celestial event together as a family. Foolish, I thought, as I wondered if I would even go outside for a peek or not.

In fact, even after I had grabbed onto two pairs of certified safe glasses, I thought to myself, I knew I was not going to subject myself and my dear wife to the jostling crowds down near Moon, Oklahoma for a view. And I didn’t. But Monday came and I discovered myself, along with my wife Pat out in my back yard. It was something of a hazy lazy day as we busied ourselves cleaning up and outfitting our back yard patio table with its new chair covers and the colorful new umbrella. I began wondering about the eclipse. It’s so nice out here and I’m getting my phone out and find out just when exactly this big event takes place. No one else needed to know I cared — since I had “scoffed” to a few of my friends how unimportant I felt the event was.

So Pat and I sat down and waited for the moon and sun to do their “magic.” And boy did it do it. Right here in my own special back yard. Our yard was active and noisy with birds and three squirrels took turns scampering around. It was suddenly a great day as we both pondered the wonders of gravity; the plotted paths of the sun and moon and I wondered how smart you must be to plot the paths of the Sun and the Moon. These guys can even predict the next eclipse! (In August 2044-20 years from now.) Meanwhile, the moon blocked more and more of the sun and my back yard grew dark. At about 1:42 we observed the maximum of this scientific wonder. Our somewhat darkened yard was noticeably cooler. The noisy birds quieted, and our three squirrels vanished.

After a while I went inside and watched TV as the eclipse traveled across the nation and finally vanished over Niagara Falls. It was over. Or was it? Reports that the eclipse had made some people sick started to pour in. Some reported they had body vibrations and buzzes. Others were nauseated and now I’m waiting to see if law firms pick up and represent any of these victims. And exactly who are they going to sue? Or will it just fizzle out like the cases of people who wanted to sue the government about daylight savings time burning up their gardens. I plan on watching our next eclipse too in 2044. I’ll be 109. I’m saving my eclipse glasses too. My alternate plan is to watch it from heaven. Without glasses. Always believe in planning ahead.

Now that you know when the next eclipse is, let me advise you to be in church Sunday.

Wayne Bullard, DPh

cwaynebullard@gmail.com