Nancy Pelosi has now and officially sent the articles of impeachment over to the US Senate from her little office down the hall. Just now? And why the delay? Some think she took them home with her and simply mislaid them. Stuff like that happens to document me all the time so it’s plausible. Some say she thought the impeachment articles had to be bundled up into a book-like document with an index and all that but that wasn’t it. And I really don’t know just what and why she didn’t have one of her fl unkies just get one of those two wheelers and haul them over. But she didn’t and now I don’t know how they got assimilated and made the trip, but they did.

But other problem have arisen. I can just see old Mitch McConnel with his period style and clunky office phone calling the President and telling him, “They’re here.” What’s here?” asks Trump. “The articles of impeachment are here.” “Oh those,” replies the President.” “Uh, got someplace you can store for a few days?” asks an obviously distracted President Trump. “Well, I guess we could stack them up by the podium and in the aisles,” replies Mitch. “I thought you were in a hurry for her to get them over here,” cried McConnel.

The President then proceeds to inform the head man over in the Senate, “Mitch, we got worse problems over here at the White House than that impeachment thing Nancy’s been whining about. I have trouble with my toilets.” “Yeah, right here in the White House,” the mightiest man in the nation retorts. “Do you know how many fl ushes it takes for me after I do my business?” “Uh no, Mr. President, I had never given it a thought. You know I’ve been so tied up trying to get Nancy to deliver the Articles of impeachment I never once thought to worry myself about your toilets.” “So just take a guess Mitch.” “I don’t have any idea,” the Senate Majority Leader confessed. The President, butting in, says “Ten.”

McConnel, stunned to hear the word ten said, “Mr. President, do I need to send a doctor or a plumber over there?” “It isn’t me, it’s the toilets. They won’t do their job unless I fl ush 10 times.” “Wow,” replied McDonnel! “What’s wrong with them?” “It’s the government,” replied Trump. “Ever since that bunch of global warmers passed a regulation saying all new toilets could only use one gallon of water, they don’t work right.” “Global Warmers?” Mitch queried?” “Yeah, you know the same stupid bunch that took away our light bulbs, set new gas millage standards on our cars and worry all the time about the Ozone Layer.”

“Well,” said Mitch, “does the Senate need to send new toilets over and where can we get the kind you want?” “Don’t worry Mitch,” the President replied smugly, “I already sent VP Pence to Canada for some of those old fashioned one. The ones that do it all with one flush. I’m going to need about 30 of the things. Then, poof. One flush and you’re fi nished. Anyway, the President of the United States has more important things to be worrying with than about his toilets. And I don’t even want to have to think about gasoline millage and how much lead the city water in Flint, Michigan has in it. Anyway, none of us over here at the White House have time to mess around with all that impeachment stuff. Let me know how that comes out, will you?”

Meanwhile, I hope all of you are having a pleasant enough winter and if you’re like me you’re glad all the holidays are behind us. Be sure and go to church Sunday.

Wayne Bullard, DPh

waynebullard@sbcglobal.net