It’s Halloween! Be extra careful you don’t run over any of our little trick or treaters. Any big ones too, for that matter. And Sunday, set your clocks back. “Fall Back.”

Cars are safer than ever. If you don’t believe it just read their ads. Sturdy body styles, air bags, safety glass, seatbelts and better roads mean fewer highway deaths. Our safety engineers have worked overtime through the years to help us live through our automobile trips. Lane guidance beeps warn us to keep in our lane. Little recording devices (much like those on aircraft) tell experts what we may have done wrong while driving these “whizbang” cars. They study these little black boxes after you crash your safe car.

Roads are now safer. The road between Allen and Ada was a well-known “killer” highway. Blind hills, strange curves and narrow lanes meant that every year locals experienced needless wrecks. No shoulders made changing a flat a death wish come true. But finally, under the pressure of local late politician Bob Plunk the mean highway was rebuilt. Completely. Hills were dozed, curves were straightened out a bit and the lanes were widened by 4 feet. Fully paved and spacious shoulders made it look like a 4-lane. It was made so safe and smooth.

My old Driver’s Ed teacher over at Stonewall, D. D. Duke, liked to talk about the loose nut behind the wheel. That’s us, the drivers. Yes, it’s true. The car still needs a safe and attentive driver. I noticed my first DWR (driving while reading) episode a few years ago on I-20 down in Texas. I’m told DWR has been here forever, but I hadn’t noticed. I saw a lady was going 75 mph with her book laying on her steering wheel. As bad as DWR may seem it’s not as bad as the CPU (cell phone user) or ED (eye drift). This all contributes to DWD.

DWR is arguably good for you in that you can learn while you get someplace. But you have to be alert to gravel hitting the bottom of your car DOR (driver off road) and set your cruise to keep your unmonitored speed down and try not to be a victim of REC (rear end crash). It makes for a messy funeral if you are reading a hard back book. The book (hard backs) may enter your forehead making it hard for your chosen undertaker to make you viewable for your special day. I have always suggested drivers practicing RWD to be sure your DOA (dead on arrival) tag is properly tied to your big toe, for the convenience of EMT (emergency medical technicians) to know who you were. At this point just let me point out that you also need to be a BAC (born again Christian).

RWD while DWI is not as common as DWI and CPU are when practiced in solo, BV (blurred vision), ED and BF (brain failure) as a result of DWI makes it hard to do anything. However there seems to be few or no impediments connected with CPU and DWI as having BV and BF doesn’t affect CPU. I strongly encourage those who are DWI with BV, ED, or BF and indulging in CPU to lay aside their book. Remember your DOA tag for sure.

I wish you all a great weekend. Enjoy our fall weather and if you go to church you might should leave your cell phone at home. Otherwise you can be DWL, from your CPU. Otherwise, you may get home suffering from ED, BV, BF and ADS. I’ve enjoyed hearing from my readers this week. I’m OJ.

Wayne Bullard, DPh cwaynebullard@gmail.com

*Help aids DWR-Driving while reading CPU Cell Phone Use ED Eye drift DWD Driving while distracted BAC Born again Christian BF Brain Failure HB Hard back DWI Driving while Intoxicated