I guess everyone has wondered what would happen to his job, his family, his good old buddies if he happened to unexpectedly die. How — one can wonder — would they take it. I had a little taste of that one day. As you all probably know, I am a member in good standing of the Men’s Sunday School Class at the Allen First Baptist Church. I have (without being asked to) taken to calling it the Cemetery Class. We are, as it were, standing in our last duty station. Our next promotion is not optional — it’s across S-HWY 48. Yes, our remains will lie in repose in the cemetery.

Getting along with the story, I had been taken up to Oklahoma City VA and spent a few days in the hospital. Had another pharmacist working in my place. I just assumed such a story downtown would have gotten the word out about my being sick. But I got OK, came home and resumed my life. I walked into the back shop of The Allen Advocate. No one paid me much attention. Finally, I asked one of those ink-blotters if they had missed me. “Where ya been,” old Virgil replied. I explained with as little emotion as possible that not only had I been gone, but I (the town’s only pharmacist) had been in the hospital for 5 days.

Virgil finally said, with as much sympathy as he could, that he hoped I was doing OK now. About two weeks later I was seated in the Men’s Sunday School Class, just glad to be back. In walks Lane Ritter. Now Lane lives in Atwood and isn’t privy to the all the news and gossip that flows up and down Allen’s business district. Ritter stared at me, took my hand and looked earnestly and strangely right in my face. “I was told you had died.” At that point he had pinched me.

The story was thus: The previous Sunday he had ambled in and asked: “Where’s Old Bullard?” Donnie Johnson, without so much as batting an eye said, “Old Bullard died last week. We already buried him.” Lane, had mentioned he had been out of the country last week and just had no opportunity to know.” So now, here he was, bumfuzzled. So was I.

The class had started but I interrupted to let them know I had received no flowers, no cards and condolences. But the class has a good sense of humor, and I figured I might as well have one too. And I knew for sure that if I had died, the world and the class would have just gone on without me. Just fine.

Have a good week and be sure to go to church on Sunday. Gives you a good chance to check up on your friends. See if anyone is dead.

Wayne Bullard, DPh cwaynebullard@gmail.com