Wayne is out of pocket this week so we are running one of his columns from the past.

I get all my health care up at the VA in Oklahoma City but it’s when I am standing in a line or sitting in a waiting room that I find out a lot of stuff. Last week, in a slow line, I noticed this red-haired guy in front of me, turning around and eyeing the crowd preparing to make a speech. I see this up there quite often and as he started to speak I cleverly attempted to avoid eye contact with him by studying the ceiling tiles. It worked fairly well as he diverted his attention to the two hapless victim’s right in front and behind him. Both were trying to be polite veterans.

“You know it’s time they start giving the little guy a break. This gasoline is way too high.” About 4 or 5 guys turned around and murmured their approval of the subject and the guy was off and running.

“They need to make a decision soon,” he went on, “to either up the gas mileage on the cars they sell or mark down their gasoline—it’s way too high and they know it.”

“You know, they can make those cars get whatever gas mileage they want and that’s why they cranked it up to 35MPG but now gas is so high they need to set the mileage up to about 50.” The guy in front of me looked a little suspicious as he asked him how they could do that.

“It’s very simple”, the self proclaimed expert replied. “I served in the Army with a soldier who invented a carburetor that got 120 MPG and that was on a big Ford pickup truck with a V-8.” Nobody said anything and 2 or 3 guys turned their backs to him and grinned at each other.

“Yeah,” the guy went on, “Ford Motor Company heard about it and gave him $150,000 for it and killed it. You know that all those car companies and the oil companies are in this together and they get together and set up the price of oil and gas and decide what mileage they are going to let us have. Yessiree, they are afraid of that carburetor.”

The dude in front of me said, “You do know that they quit using carburetor’s several years ago, don’t you? It’s all fuel injectors.”

“Oh yeah,” the guy responded, “but it’s all the same.”

“You think they can just crank up the mileage?” The skeptical listener asked. The guy looked around for some support but everyone got real busy looking at their paper work and I continued my work staring at the ceiling tiles. His audience was gone and besides he was getting close to the head of the line himself. But he knew his work was done and he did review his main points: A “They” committee did indeed exist and they did decide the price of oil and gasoline and more importantly they decided how much gas mileage your car gets.

This must be a true story as I have had this carburetor story explained (with varying details) many times in my life. I have had the “They Committee” explained many times before but I wasn’t aware that there was a “They Committee” in charge of gas mileages who also set gas prices. Thank goodness for the VA Hospital.

I hope all of you are enjoying this nice weather and that you aren’t worried about the gas mileage you get on your way to church. I have it on good authority that it’s being looked after.

Wayne Bullard, Pharm. D

waynebullard@sbcglobal.net