Alongside I-40 going into Oklahoma City is a large billboard informing passersby that a large percentage of Oklahoma’s children face a hungry bedtime. In other words, need food. When I saw it, I thought of the old “Feed the Children” programs picturing little skinny starving kids needing some food and we need to “give” some money. But this was right here in America and that disturbs me. In fact, I do not believe it. These programs may be running to take financial care of those who happen to be running them with feeding kids as a secondary factor.

My point is not that there are not kids in need--that is always true. It is just that I do not think that grinding poverty and hunger are that widespread. The kids around here receiving food seem to be doing good. In fact, our biggest problem is with them being overweight. Schools have placed physical education programs in place to help these kids, but you guessed it: Mama writes notes requesting their kid be excused because it makes their side hurt or it makes him or her ache. Thus, the programs do not really do much good. An aching side or spleen upon exercise or running is a sure sign of a person being out of shape.

But here is the real problem. In the past few years, 5-year old boys’ weights on average have increased from 43 to 47 pounds. Girls have gone up from 42 to 47 pounds. American men have advanced from 168 to 180 pounds while their female counterparts were at 142 now at 152.

What does this mean to America? Well for one thing the stadium up at OU is getting tight. Tight on our rears that is. So, all of us now must stand some since we cannot all sit down at the same time. I have had some horrific experiences up there, usually with fat women. They are even installing escalators on the stadium up at Norman to get these obese people in and out.

To make this work out OU will have to add 17,000 more seats. The decks are being reinforced so they do not bend and fall. What a calamity. Who pays? Us. We do. Ticket prices may go up 30%. Prices on fatty hot dogs and big old juicy hamburgers will go up a bunch. Super-sized soft drinks (and did I hear that beer is fattening?) and it will have to go up, again.

Stadiums are not along in getting bigger. Caskets have widened out from 22 inches to 26 inches. It was just too tight a fit, the undertakers said. But I never heard anyone complain about it. Movie seats are now 22 inches wide whereas they were 19 inches. Refrigerators are wider too—10% wider. Cars are said to be heavier, but I do not really know about that. New houses now provide more space. In 1950 it was 290 feet per person now zooming past the 893 feet each, and now we have increased the amount of trash we toss away by 150%. Much of it in Allen’s parks and streets.

You know we are finally finding out our rights in this country. We all have rights now to free food. Our schools offer free educations too and throw in free beforeschool care as well as after-school babysitting. It is our rights. And of course, if one is to offer before and after school baby-sitting, well they must have something to eat. The kids, not the school. Schools will soon be required to see about free health care for the kids. After all, we are told that all Americans are entitles to free health care. Oh me!

I want to close on a bright thought. Abundant and even excess pews and seats are still available in all our local churches. Plenty of room for everyone—even us fatties. Be sure and go to your church Sunday.

Wayne Bullard, DPh

cwaynebullard@gmail.com