Bull Robinson, Publisher Photograph Image/jpg Photograph Image/jpg Quote Of The Week…. “the Universe Is Made Of Protons, Neutrons, Electrons And Morons.”

Quote of the week…. “The universe is made of protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.” —CC—Recently two of my friends have indicated they are planning to retire in the near future. Here is something they might want to read about a gentleman that has been retired awhile. Why I Like Retirement Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime? Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors? Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? Answer: The never-ending Coffee Break.

Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with? Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite....

QUESTION: What do you do all week? Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest. Buffalo Valley Roundup —CC—

School is back in session and many parents have a concern about what their child might “share” with the teacher and classmates. Here is one of my favorites….

WHEN I WAS A KID, my parents would always say “excuse my French” after a swear word. I’ll never forget that fi rst day at school when the teacher asked if we knew any French. —CC—

Speaking of school….

In my college days good grades were hard to get. Like many things in college, this has also changed. According to the nation’s four-year colleges (elite and ivy league included), today’s college students are soaked in “superior” intelligence and performance. The proof is in the numbers, right? Grade point averages have, indeed, catapulted in recent decades. And no one on campus seems willing to address or correct the obvious fallacy. In a March 18 column, Boston Globe writer Jeff Jacoby cited numerous studies from recent years to uncover some startling stats, among them:

• In 2012, 62% of Yale student grades were in the A range, contrasted with 10% in 1963.

• In 2009, 41% of four-year college students had A- or higher-grade averages, contrasted with 7% in 1969.

• A 2013 report found that 91% of Harvard seniors were graduating with honors, and 48.5% of their grades were A’s.

Jacoby said grade infl ation on college campuses has been rampant since the mid 1990s. He wrote, “Every few years, the joke that grade infl ation has made of brand-name colleges gets a new bout of attention. But it never leads to meaningful reform.”

bostonglobe.com

—CC—Another thing that has changed greatly is Pay-Per-View Jacqueline Whiting writes in Good Old Days…

Pay-Per-View

Way Back When

The main problem was keeping those quarters handy.

Around 1954, I answered my door without an inkling that a new technology was about to enter my world and change it forever.

In our new, small community in Detroit, Mich., it was common to have a variety of salespeople ring your doorbell. Door-to-door selling was an acceptable way to conduct business at that time. A knock on the door could bring you anything from baked goods to vacuums and most things in between. So it was not unusually to find a salesman at my door that day. What was most unusual was what he was selling – a television!

I was intrigued. My curiosity and interest allowed him to return for an evening appointment to make his presentation when my husband was present. In that era, the husband needed to be present to approve any large purchase that might involve credit. His signature was needed to close any sale.

Not many people owned a television in the early 1950s. In fact, the TV pictured in the salesman’s booklet was about the extent of our television knowledge. Sure, we had strolled past the TV department at Sears. We even took a quick glimpse at the demo of a live broadcast. But a TV was definitely a luxury item. It was not something we ever considered buying. We had to watch our budget.

“Not a problem,” assured the salesman that evening. “Purchasing this beauty won’t change your budget at all. With our unique plan, you pay for the television as you use it. And you pay only as you use it. How much you’ll pay will depend on how much you view. Watch a little, watch a lot. It’s up to you. You can pay for the viewing time with your pocket change.”

We were sold! What an easy, affordable way to purchase such an impressive, exciting new product. We anxiously waited for the arrival of our fi rst TV.

“Just need to attach this coin box to the back of your TV and you’ll be all set,” the deliveryman grunted as he fi nished his task. The coin box was the gatekeeper for viewing any program. It worked as an off/on button. It accepted only quarters—which weren’t always to be found in our pocket change, incidentally. For each quarter, we put into the box, the screen would light up for a specifi c segment of time. When the time period ended, the screen went blank.

The box was really accurate. Often, mid-program, the screen went blank. No warning, no grace minutes.

This resulted in a frenzy. The search for another quarter was on! Frantic darting from room to room took place. It involved the whole family and included friends and visiting relatives. The participants searched everywhere. Pockets, purses and piggy banks were checked. Neighbors were sometimes asked to become money changers. Eventually, to avoid missing half a show, we decided to tap our budget to buy rolls of quarters so they were available at all times.

Besides the coin box, another immediate concern was mastering the antenna, which sat on top of the TV. Locating the exact position to place the antenna “rabbit ears” to get the best picture was difficult, and it seemed to change nightly. Up. Down. Sideways.

Once found, no one touched the ears, nor passed in front of them. Just a smidgen off and the picture could go out of focus or become a snowstorm. You could easily spend one of those precious quarters just trying to locate the elusive best picture, especially if there was more than one opinion among the viewers.

As you may have guessed, we watched every available program we could. Even wrestling! Interest had nothing to do with it. We just wanted to watch our new TV.

Eventually the novelty and excitement faded. We traded the “pay as you use” plan for the convenience of a regular payment plan, and with no change in total cost to our budget. We became more discriminating in our viewing. We had become TV savvy, and so much so that when color television was introduced, we were eager to check it out.

It was memorable to be part of those early years of television growth. It did change our world. It also left us with many humorous memories of that time in history.