walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The frustrated gunman walked away.

*AND THE 5- STARSTUPIDITY AWARED WINNER (#10) When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motorhome parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!!!

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family . . . unless, of course, one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Remember . . . they walk among us . . . they reproduce . . . and, they VOTE!

—CC—

And last of all, I recently received the following note from my good friend, Wayne Bullard.

“I enjoyed your article on my friend Peanuts. I like him OK and admire Lucy – who reminds me of some of the girls I grew up with over in Stonewall.

“Once upon a time, while visiting a relative in Graton, California, my Uncle Ezry took me by a Charles Shultz home. We drove up and parked in the street and sure ‘nuff, we saw Mr. Schultz out raking leaves. He saw us, paused and waved, then resumed his work. We waved back and drove on. My thrill of the day. That day.

“I hear our “late” Mr. Schultz has a museum now there in his old hometown – Santa Rosa. Not a surprise but did you know the people in Tokyo also have a Charles Schultz Museum. Me? I didn’t either. But his “strip” was and probably still is popular in Japan.

“Me? I’m kinda proud it was popular in Japan and some other foreign places. I think his simplicity of thought and ability to draw such simple cartoon panels that project actual American Values and beliefs resonates with people worldwide. Have a good weekend. Wayne” Wayne is an incredible writer and his weekly column is the most popular column in our newspapers. We are so fortunate to have him.