“The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget.” Unknown “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”

Sir Norman Wisdom “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” Andy Rooney “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” Larry Lorenzon “The older I get, the better I used to be.” Lee Trevino “You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.” John Mendoza “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me— they’re cramming for their final exam.” George Carlin “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” Bob Hope “I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?” Barry Cryer “I don’t do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast.” Anonymous “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. Then, you only have to remember it.” George Burns “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”

Maurice Chevalier “Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth.” Conan O’Brien “I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to.” Albert Einstein