Some of the more interesting stories recently include…

David Neal, 52, is the night manager at the Fourth Avenue South Hilton Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee — or he was, until a bizarre incident on March 30. WKRN-TV reported that around 5 a.m. that day, Neal allegedly made a key card to enter an occupied room and suck on the toes of the sleeping guest. When officers arrived at the hotel, Neal admitted entering the room but said he had done so because he smelled smoke and wanted to check on the occupant. He was arrested on May 5 at his home and charged with aggravated burglary and assault.

A cyclist and a hunter came to the rescue of a 51-yearold man who had been tied to a tree near the German town of Bueckburg on May 3, KRQE-TV reported. The situation was the unfortunate outcome of a sex game he had been playing with a woman; he told police that after she tied him up, she got a phone call and suddenly fled. He was fully dressed and had pantyhose over his head when he was found, but the box cutter he had brought “for such situations” was unreachable. The man was unharmed and refused to identify the woman for authorities.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Shivdayal Sharma, 82, died in a freak accident in the Alwar region of India on April 19, LBC reported. As Sharma urinated near a train track, a Vande Bharat express train struck a cow, launching it 100 feet into the air before it landed on him. Sharma was killed instantly, and another man narrowly escaped being hit also. Ironically, Sharma worked at Indian Railways before retiring 23 years ago. Officials are calling for metal fencing to keep cows away from the tracks, along with the removal of garbage and vegetation.

It’s A Dirty Job

The Blackpool Zoo in England is hiring! Wanted: “A team of people to join our Visitor Services team as ‘Seagull Deterrents.’” You, too, can dress up in a large bird costume and scare away pesky seagulls, which steal food from both visitors and animal enclosures. The Daily Mail reported that candidates must be “outgoing, as you need to be comfortable wearing a bird costume,” and hours will be variable.

News You Can Use

Not a moment too soon, Oscar Mayer announced on May 17 that it is changing the name of its iconic Wienermobile to the Frankmobile, CNN reported. The company says the name change “pays homage” to its new recipe for hot dogs, which will roll out this summer. Uh-huh. A company spokesperson said the change is a test; they’ll have “to see if it cuts the mustard” with fans. The Wienermobile first appeared in 1936; 23 of the eye-catching vehicles now travel around the country.

Bright Idea

Eco-activist Rob Greenfield has stopped using toilet paper, and he wants you to, too. People reported on May 4 that Greenfield is touring the country as part of his Grow Your Own Toilet Paper Initiative, introducing people to the blue spur flower plant. The leaves are “soft as can be,” he said.

“They’re durable. I call them the Charmin of the garden.” Greenfield sets up a compost toilet in a busy area and gives his spiel: “Hey, did you know you can grow your own toilet paper? I want to show people that another way is possible. We just buy (toilet paper) at the store and we never think twice about it.”

Each leaf is about the size of a piece of toilet paper, and the plant supplies an abundance of them. They can’t be flushed, but they can be thrown in the trash or buried in the yard. Passersby who get sucked in will also hear Greenfield’s views on composting human waste rather than using flush toilets.

Least Competent Criminals

The BBC reported on May 4 that three burglars broke into a shoe store in Huancayo, Peru, in the middle of the night and made off with 200 shoes. Unfortunately for them, they were all right shoes. Surveillance video captured them using a tricycle to remove the boxed shoes. The shop owner estimated the value at more than $13,000, although the thieves may have trouble selling the shoes for only one foot. The local police chief was confident that they would be caught.

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And last of all…

A little girl was sitting next to her grandfather as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up and touch his wrinkled cheek.

She touched her own cheek after she touched his. After a little while of thinking she asked, ‘Grandpa, did God make you?” He looked at her and said, “Yes, Sweetheart, God made me a long time ago.” She paused for a few seconds and then asked, “Grandpa, did God make me, too?” He replied, “Yes, indeed pumpkin, God made you just a little while ago” Feeling their respective faces again, she whispered to him, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t he?”