Of Families and Phones

Sometimes I wonder how my mother did it, coordinating afterschool activities as a single mother when everything had to be set up that morning and, if something changes, well, everyone is out of luck.

Nowadays parents can give children smartphones so that they are always just a text away. If my 16-year-old picks up another shift at work on Saturday, or if my daughter’s soccer game goes long, my wife and I know right away and can change our plans.

But there is also a risk to giving your children smartphones. It has been well documented that too much screen time can be detrimental to adolescents, especially for teenage girls. Facebook’s own internal research found that the use of Instagram increased body image problems for 1 in 3 girls who used the app.

Parents need to set clear rules for using smartphones, and new research from the Institute for Family Studies and the Wheatley Institute shows that two married biological parents are better at setting and enforcing those limits than other families.

According to a survey of 1,600 adolescents between the ages of 11 and 18, children in homes with two married biological parents spend an average of two hours less a day on their smart devices than children from other family types.

For all children, the risk of depression and lack of sleep goes up significantly the more time they spend on digital media. For children who use digital media less than eight hours a day, just 13% report feeling depressed, and that percentage holds true for both children living with married parents and those who do not.

But for children who use digital media for more than eight hours a day, the level of depression jumps to 23% for children living with married parents and to 31% for children living in other types of families. There is a similar break in sleep deprivation with 24% of heavy media users in married households reporting sleep deprivation, compared to 35% for heavy media users in unmarried households.

Whether you are single or married, the report recommends that all parents not allow devices in the bedroom after bedtime and to try and limit screen time to less than three hours a day for teenagers.

These are reasonable rules, and it is much easier to enforce them when you have another parent helping you do it. Conn Caroll The Washington Examiner —CC— In the year 2023, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in America and said: “Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.”

“Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.”

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: “You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark. “Noah!” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”

“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.”

“I needed a Building Permit.”

“I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.”

“My homeowners association claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood bylaws by building the Ark in my back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.”

“Then the City Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it.”

“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.”

“I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!”

“When I started gathering the animals, PETA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.”

“Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood.”

“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.”

“The Immigration Dept. Is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work.”

“The labor unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with arkbuilding experience.”

“To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.”

“So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark.”

“Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.”

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”

“No,” said the Lord. “ The Government beat me to it.

—CC—

There has been a lot of sickness recently. With that in mind I want to share the following sent to us by one of our readers.

Those of us whose hearing is not quite as good as it used to be will appreciate the following. Regan Rose writes . . .

I knew that my husband’s hearing had deteriorated after our friend – new to the city – asked where he could meet some singles.

“Well,” said my husband, “I see them in the Wal Mart parking lot diving for fries.”

“Dear,” I intervened. “ Singles, not seagulls.”

—CC—

And my favorite “memory story”

One of our readers recently told me, “My memory is starting to go. I locked the keys in my car the other day.

“Fortunately, I had forgotten to get out first.”

—CC— SMILE FOR THE WEEK

Registration lines for the new college semester were thinning out. The last applicant in the history department was a demure exchange student from Japan. As her adviser, I suggested that she take American history, and I handed her the enormous volume to be used as the text.

She leafed through the pages in wide-eyed dismay. She must have been thinking about the 20 centuries of documented Japanese history, for she asked timidly, “Why, if you please, in so very young country, so very big book?”