COUNTRY COMMENTS

Our newly elected congressman Josh Brecheen was instrumental in getting some major changes in congress during his first week. We had no doubt that he would stand strong for Oklahoma values and would not be intimidated by special interest groups. He did just that and we are proud of him.

Our country is crumbling and without leaders like Josh we will not survive.

—CC—

Often my wife suggests that I should start thinking about retirement. From what? I always say to her. I am having fun doing what I do. I love what I am doing. And besides what would I do in retirement. It could be a nightmare for her. Consider the recently retired husband who shared the following . . .

RETIRED HUSBAND

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women—she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target: Dear Mrs. Harris, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from this target store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M& M’s on layaway.

2. July 2: set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom, 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don’t have a Code 3.

5. August 4: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTIONWET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. Sep: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti depressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the Auto Department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’

15. He took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the clerks passed out.

Thus, you and your husband are banned from this Target store forever.

After my wife read this story she told me that she had seen the light and I should keep on working.

—CC—

It was the late George Burns that said “I don’t care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.”

—CC—

Our friend, who had just turned 60, was doing some spring planting, with the help of his 91-year-old father. When the older man began to put up beanpoles in straight lines, the son suggested that stacking them tepee-style was better. A disagreement arose.

“Dad,” our friend finally said, sighing, “this is MY garden, and I want to use the tepees.”

The father threw down his hoe and stomped off toward the house. “You kids!” he snorted over his shoulder. “Turn sixty and think you know everything!”

Week of January 23rd

Monday Bef or Chicken Enchiladas, Mexican Corn, Cauliflower Salad, Salsa, Pudding or Flan, Milk, Water, Iced Tea Tuesday Oven-Fried Steak with Gravy, Au Gratin Potatoes, Zucchini & Squash, Roll, Butter, Cobbler, Milk, Water, Iced Tea Wednesday Breakfast Casserole, Strawberries & Bananas, Tomato Slices, Biscuit, Butter, Jelly, Bar, Milk, Water, Iced Tea Thursday Ham or Turkey Chef Salad, Potato Soup, Crackers, Salad Dressing, Cake, Milk, Water, Iced Tea Friday Beef Goulash, Pea Salad, Copper Penny Carrots, Cornbread, Butter, Fruit, Milk, Water, Iced Tea