Forty years ago, Dayna and I purchased The Allen Advocate from Virgil and Jackie Guy. It has been a great journey and we have made many lifelong friends. Had it not been for Wayne and Pat Bullard, Charles and Betty Spear and Eric Pierce, I don’t think we would have ever survived those early years.

Allen is a great community and we have been blest to be a part of it for four decades. Although we were newcomers in 1982, the folks of this community treated us like family and they still do.

Effective July 1, our longtime editor and dear friend, Diane Brannan, will be the new owner and publisher. Diane and Cindy Davis have been the backbone of this newspaper for many years and still are. We are so thankful that it will be hometown folks serving hometown folks. They are not only great at what they do, but two of the best friends we have ever had.

Thank you, Allen, for forty years of friendship. It has been the most memorable and wonderful part of our life.

Bill and Dayna Robinson

As this will be my last Country Comments, I wanted to share a few of my favorite stories.

I attended our school reunion Saturday, and the following item was given to me.

FUNNY, BUT TRUE

*I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I tip over putting on my underwear.

*I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

*I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes . . . so she hugged me.

*My wife says I only have 2 faults. I don’t listen and something else . . .

*At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

*I thought growing old would take longer.

*I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps, got lost on the way back, not I have no idea what’s going on.

*The officer said, “You drinking?” I said, “You buying?” We just laughed and laughed . . . I need bail money.

*I think the reason we are born with two hands is to we can pet two dogs at once.

*Day 12 without chocolate. Lost hearing in my left eye.

*Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.

*The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

*A dog accepts you as the boss . . . a cat wants to see your resume.

*Oops . . . did I roll my eyes out loud?

*Life is too short to waste time matching socks.

*Wi-fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.

*If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m selfemployed; we’re having a staff meeting.

*I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.

*Some people call me crazy. I prefer happy with a twist.

*My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”

*I really don’t mind getting old, but my body is having a major fit.

*Camping: where you spend a small fortune to life like a homeless person.

*Project Manager. Because Miracle Worker isn’t an official job title.

*I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

*Measure once, cuss twice.

*My dream job would be driving the karma bus.

*THINK! (It’s not illegal . . . YET).

*I don’t care who dies in a movie, as long as the dog lives.

*The world’s best antidepressant has 4 legs, a wagging tail and comes with unconditional love.

*Love is how excited your dog gets when you come home.

*I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

*If you’re happy and you know it, it’s your meds.

As a conservative, I really enjoyed the following…. The Neighbors

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.

During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up.

She said she wanted to be Prime Minister someday. Both of her parents, Liberal Party members, were standing there so I asked her, “If you were Prime Minister what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied . . .”I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”

Her parents beamed with pride!

“Wow . . . what a worthy goal!” I said . . . “But you don’t have to wait until you’re Prime Minister to do that!”

“What do you mean/” she replied.

So I told her, “You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I’ll pay you $50.

Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I said, “Welcome to the Conservative Party.”

Her parents aren’t speaking to me anymore.

If you know any Conservative that would get a chuckle out of this, share it with them.

Most Liberals will just snarl, I guess the logic escapes them!!!

The following story was also shared at the reunion and was one of my favorites.

A husband and wife who own a circus walk into an adoption agency looking to adopt a child.

“Are you sure the circus is the best place for a child?” asks the social worker. “I mean, all those dangerous animals, the constant traveling…”

“The animals are trained,” says the wife. “And we have a state-of-the-art 55 foot motor home that is equipped with a large nursery.”

“How will you educate your child?”

“We’ve arranged for a full-time tutor to teach all the regular subjects, as well as Mandarin and computer programming,” explains the husband.

“And the nanny is certified in pediatric care, child welfare and nutrition.” The wife adds.

The social worker is impressed. “Well, you do seem perfect. What age were you looking to adopt?”

The husband answers, “It doesn’t matter, as long as they can fit in the cannon.”

We received a really nice letter from our long-time friend James McDonald. It meant a lot to us and we thank him so much. Here is the letter . . .

Dear Bill,

I always enjoy a handwritten letter or note more than email. So, here goes! Ha! Wanted to let you know how much I like your new Advocate Printed format. Easier to read and still has the info that makes me feel connected to Allen.

Of course, your segment and Wayne Bullard’s view certainly give me reason to smile and relate to its content. If only I could get Wayne to show some kindness to the O State Cowboys.  This year’s Alumni will be my class of ’62 sixtieth year so I’m hopeful those remaining can return. Keep my sister Joy Anderson in line, if possible. Ha! She and I are really glad she’s living there. Keep the good news coming. Best regards.

James E. McDonald

Of course, James would have to be a nice person since he is Joy’s brother! Ha!