Quote of the week . . . “Christians never meet for the last time.”

—CC—

With all the discussion about “gender” did you realize that there were ways to decide the “gender” of your computer?

There was a group of adults that were taking a computer science course at a community college. And after a few weeks of classes, the professor decided to have some fun one day through a little learning activity. And divided the class by sex, and put the men on one side of the room and the women on the other side of the room and said “I want you all to do a project for the next ten minutes, and I want you to determine what gender computers ought to be . . .”

And so, they deliberated. And so, finally here come the men, they voted. They voted unanimously that computers ought to be referred to in the feminine gender. And the professor said, “All right, share with me your points.” They had four (4) points.

They said the reason why computers ought to be spoken of in the feminine gender:

1. Is because no one but their creator understands their internal logic

2. Is because when computers talk to each other, they communicate in code language that only they and experts can understand.

3. Is because every mistake you make is stored on their hard drive for later retrieval.

4. Is because as soon as you commit to one, these men said, is you spend half your paycheck accessorizing it. Now don’t laugh too hard, because the women, the women have the last word on this subject.

The women voted unanimously, “Computers must be of the masculine gender”. Why? As the women gave their report, they said:

· First of all, in order to get their attention, you have to “turn them on.”

· Secondly, they have a lot of data, but still can’t think for themselves.

· Thirdly, they are supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they are the problem.

· And the final reason they gave was . . . as soon as you commit to one, you realize you could have gotten a better model.

—CC—

Funny & Mostly True!!

Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

If you can’t think of a word, say, “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event!!!

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do, it’s because I missed my exit.

My goal for 2021 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.

Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce and cheese. OK, FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live much longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. . . .OK, I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him. We didn’t find any.

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It’s weird being the same age as old people. When I was a kid, I wanted to be older . . . this is not what

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older . . . this is not what I expected.

Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember . . . Don’t sing!

If 2021 was a math word problem, it would read like this: If you’re going down a river a 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?

I see people about my age on TV mountain climbing. I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without loving my balance.

So, if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get up.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot of information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day. That’s all Folks!!

That’s all Folks!!

—CC—

And last of all . . .

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Oklahoma.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

“Say, is this really a healthy place?”

“It sure is,” the man replied. “When I first arrived here, I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That’s wonderful!” said Bill. “How long have you been here?” “Sixty-one years—I was born here.”

“Sixty-one years—I was born here.”