The cold weather kept several home from Sunday School but those of us attending shared some great “church” stories . . .

The first item was SMILES FROM THE BIBLE

What kind of man was Boaz before he married?

Ruthless

What do they call pastors in Germany?

German Shepherds.

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

Noah. He was floating his tock while everyone else was in liquidation.

What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

Samson. He brought the house down.

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?

The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?

David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Which Bible character had no parents?

Joshua, son of Nun.

And my favorite church story shared was the following . . .

Explain God—

This was written by an 8 year old, Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment. The assignment was to explain God. Wonder if any of us could do as well?

One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn’t have to take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers. God’s second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn’t have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn’t go wasting His time by going over your Mom and Dad’s head asking for something they said you couldn’t have.

Atheists are people who don’t believe in God. I don’t think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren’t any who come to our church. Jesus is God’s Son. He used to do all the hard work like walking on water and performing miracles and people finally got tired of Him preaching to them and they crucified Him. But He was good and kind, like His Father and He told His Father that they didn’t know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said “O.K.” His Dad (God) appreciated everything that He had done and all His hard work on earth so He told Him He didn’t have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now He helps His Dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones He can take care of Himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important. You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.

You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes god happy, and if there’s anybody you want to make happy, it’s God. Don’t skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn’t come out at the beach until noon anyway.

If you don’t believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can’t go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He’s around and when you’re scared in the dark or when you can’t swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids. But . . . you shouldn’t just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and He can take me back anytime He pleases. And . . . that’s why I believe in God.

And then there was the prayer that really hit home . . . So for today, God; I’ve done all right, I haven’t gossiped,

So for today, God; I’ve done all right, I haven’t gossiped, Haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty,

Haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty,

Selfish, or even indulgent. I’m very thankful for that – But in a very short time, God, I’m

I’m very thankful for that – But in a very short time, God, I’m

Going to get out of bed, and from that moment on I’m going to need a lot of help!

Amen.

—CC—

One of the great Christians of all time almost didn’t grow up. Let’s go back to February 9, 1709.

On February 9, 1709, John Wesley, then known as Jacky, was just five years old as he lay in his bed on the second floor of the rectory in Epworth, Lincolnshire, England.

Waking up, Jacky was puzzled to find the room filled with light, but the curtains on the four-poster bed were closed. He poked his head out and saw streaks of fire on the ceiling. They he realized that his two sisters who shared the bed with him were gone. He looked over to the other bed, where the nurse slept with his sister Patty and baby Charles, and that, too, was empty. Jacky jumped out of bed and ran to the open door but found the floor in the hall on fire. He ran back into the room, climbed up on a chest of drawers, and opened the window latch so he could look out. Above him the thatched roof of the rectory was ablaze, fanned by a strong northeast wind. Below he could see a crowd of neighbors throwing buckets of water at the burning building with little effect. One of the men looked up and saw little Jacky edging his way out of the window along the windowsill and frantically called for someone to get a ladder.

“There will not be time!” another man yelled. Then a tall, burly neighbor leaned against the side of the burning house and other neighbors helped a lighter man climb onto his shoulders. As the heat from the fire behind Jacky grew intense, the top man managed to stand upright, stretch out his arms, and pluck the little boy from the windowsill. Just then the house’s roof caved in.

As the family was fleeing from the burning house, Mr. Wesley had realized that Jacky was missing, but when he tried to run back up the steps to get him, the stairs were on fire and wouldn’t support his weight. In agony he had quickly knelt in the hallway and committed Jacky to God before fleeing with the rest of his family. When the rescuers carried Jacky to the neighboring house where the family had taken refuge, his father cried out with joy, “Come neighbors! Let us give thanks to God! He has given me all eight children. Let the house go. I am rich enough!”

This event left an indelible mark on John Wesley’s life. He took it as evidence that god had some particular purpose in sparing him. Later in his life as he led the Methodist revival in England, the incident became for him a picture of the world and his role in it. The burning house represented the perishing world. Each soul was symbolized by the perishing child who needed to be plucked from the fire.

On February 9, 1750, forty-one years after the fire, Wesley made this journal entry describing a Watch Night service in London’s West Street Chapel: “About eleven o’clock it came into my mind that this was the very day and hour on which , . I was taken out of the flames. I stopped and gave a short account of that wonderful providence. The voice of praise and thanksgiving went upon high, and great was our rejoicing before the Lord.”

Before he died, he wrote his own epitaph, which begins, “Here lieth the body of John Wesley, a brand plucked out of the burning.”

One of his favorite verses that he often quoted throughout his life was Jude 1:23 –“Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment.”