As one who has a receding hairline, I enjoyed and appreciated the following.

It was Dolly Parton who once said, “I love bald men. Just because you’ve lost your fuzz don’t mean you ain’t a peach.”

Those of us with receding hairlines can appreciate the following: They’re just wrong. I don’t believe God ever intended for man to grow his hair as long as possible on one side of his head just to flip it over and wrap it around the other side. This was not in the original design. There is no Scripture in Genesis that says, “And God fashioned Adam’s comb over and saw that it was good.” The comb over is something that man came up with all on his own. Sort of like the Edsel.

But man was wrong.

Now, before I go on, if you are reading this and you happen to have a comb over, you need to know that it is not your fault. Society has told you that it’s okay to play this little hair trick on the public. It has told you that no one will notice that your bangs are merely your back hair being combed forward. Society has been leading you on.

Don’t get me wrong. You have a right to grow and comb your hair in whatever direction you care to. All I’m saying is don’t be disillusioned into thinking that the public isn’t aware. We’ve seen enough bad comb over’s to be quite skilled ion following a hair to its root, regardless of how far away that root might be.

I’ve often wondered who came up with the comb-over concept in the first place. Did this person walk in from a windstorm with his hair blown in a dozen different directions, look at himself in the mirror and say, “It’s a miracle! My bald spot’s gone!”?

Even with its drawbacks, though, the comb over seems to have a few advantages over the toupee. I knew a man who bought a top-of-the-line toupee and wore it everywhere he went Ð to the beach, in the shower, golfing. He even played baseball in it. It looked so good, you wouldn’t have known he was wearing one had it not been for that one game when he slid into second base and his toupee went on to third. (The incident gave a new meaning to letting the wind blow through your hair. It also made it difficult to score the game because he was called out on second base, but his hair was clearly safe on third.)

As real as they can look, toupees can still fly off, slip off, or slide off when you least expect them to. You can even accidentally put one on backward, like one friend hurriedly did when I surprised him with a hospital visit. I kept telling him to turn around and face me, but then realized he already was.

Hair transplants are another alternative to the comb over. This is where the doctor will take hair from another part of your body and surgically implant it on the top of your head. Some transplants look amazingly natural, while others can leave you looking as if you have little electrodes coming out of your scalp.

Maybe our forefathers had the right idea. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin all knew perfectly well how to handle their hair-loss problems: they just threw on a powdered wig.

So maybe that’s another good option. Of course, a powdered wig would make some heads turn at the golf course. But considering the shade they’d offer and the padded protection against stray balls, they might not be such a bad idea.