You don’t know everything but between us….
Instilling confidence in children
My dad spoke in my ear Sunday while I was in church. In one sense this is not an unusual occurrence. Dad had a tremendous positive influence on me. I say “had” because Dad passed away several years ago. Still, his voice is in the ear of my mind, giving advice, asking questions, reminding me of funny or wise sayings.
In church on Sunday our Pastor said “We don’t know everything, but God knows everything.” I guess that’s true. I can confirm the first part and strongly suspect the second part. But Pastor’s words caused my Dad’s voice to speak one of his famous, oft repeated sayings in my ear. “You don’t know everything, and I don’t know everything, but between us we know EVERYTHING!”
This saying was uttered mostly in jest but also with a ring of genuine belief. Usually is was spoken when we were in the middle of a perplexing household repair job. Though I was often flummoxed, frustrated and deflated, Dad would never give up even when no solution was in sight.
It was then he would utter his immortal words about our interdependent and comprehensive knowledge of the universe.
I have to admit, I always felt like I was not carrying my weight. If together we knew everything my part was about 5% and my Dad was contributing 95%. But whatever the mix, my Dad’s utterance breathed hope into my heart and confidence into my mindset. I would internally think “Yeah, that’s right. We can figure this out.” Usually we did.
Many years later when Dad was nearing the end of his life my sister and I were together talking over old times with Dad and he said “I always tried to instill confidence in you kids…(long pause)…..but I think maybe I over did it” He was joking (we think) and poking fun and my sister’s and my outlook that we can take on any challenge. Maybe Dad did over do it. But I don’t think so.
I think my Dad did something that many dads fail to do. Instill confidence in children. Not bravado. Not cocksure vanity. But the inner belief that, with effort and thought and planning we could conquer most, if not all, challenges.
Part of what it takes to be this kind of parent is a well timed word or phrase. Something like “You don’t know everything and I don’t know everything but between us, we know EVERYTHING!” That’s arathe saying my Dad spoke to me and I have passed on to my children. My hope is that my grandchildren will hear the words of my Father.