So, when did these Father’s Day celebrations get started and how? Well, the first one came forth on June 19, 1910. The same year my own father was born. Men scoffed at this new day. “It’s just a trick to get people to spend money on yet another holiday,” said my dad. “Besides, we wind up having to pay for it ourselves anyway, so what’s the point.”

My own mom had her own ideas on this. She gave my dad the same Father’s Day card for 15 years running and he never noticed. She would just stick it back in her dresser drawer and save it. It was her way of coping with his mass inattention.

But he would have approved of her recycling it if he had ever noticed. You see, Dad was not just thrifty, he was super thrifty. In fact, I learned from him many ways to cut expenses, and many were so clever and subtle that many experts haven’t yet caught on to them. For instance, Dad was very careful with his car headlights. Although he never did know Ohm’s law concerning generator phase lag that caused the lights to burn more gas, he did know this: Those lights are only going to burn for so long. So, the more they’re on, the sooner they burn out. Dollars out the window.

Dad would drive well into twilight with his lights off. Only after a series of neardeath episodes would he switch them on. He saved them for real dark only. Also, windshield wipers, like the lights, are just good for so much use and bingo, they’re finished too. Solution? Simple. When it rains, use them for single swipes only. Also, be alert and quick to swerve if you find yourself suddenly staring an 18 wheeler down.

Tires wearing out too soon? Air them up harder. Find out just how much pressure they can take before blowing out. Ignore the roughness of your ride. You’re saving on gasoline. Speaking of jarring the fillings out of your teeth, did you know you should probably just avoid dentists except in times of extreme toothaches. And don’t be bashful about shopping around for cheap dentists. They are there. Dental pain shots? Not necessary. High toothpaste bills? Well did you know that just a tiny squidge works just as good as a long bit. Savings? Fantastic.

Soaring electric bills? Not at the Bullard house. A little known “fact” about electricity is that putting a penny behind a fuse confuses your meter and makes the fuse last for well, forever! Buying milk? Don’t. Always keep a cow handy. They give free milk, and it gives your kids something else to do.

My dad is long gone to be with the Lord where he is undoubtedly in charge of heavenly cost containment. But like all of you, I loved and miss my dad.

Be sure and go to church Sunday.

Wayne Bullard, DPh

cwaynebullard@gmail.com