Some of us have time during when “… there’s nothing to do.” Maybe this little group of suggested activities might help fill the idle spaces.

Bread is like the Sun. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

Why do French people eat snails? Because they don’t like fast food

What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married? Cantelope.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A Pouch Potato

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll!

Karl Marx s a historically famous philosopher but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol.(This one is tough. Say her name together: Onya Marx!!!)

Lance Is a very uncommon name nowadays. But in Medieval Times, people were called Lance A Lot.

Wife: Did I get fat during Quarantine?

Husband: You were never really skinny.

Time of Death: 4-25-21, 11:23 p.m. Cause of Death: Corona virus.

I don’t mean to brag, but…I just put together a puzzle in one day and the box said 2 to 4 years.

If your dentist fixed your cavities with different colors, would it be OK…. or would you have mixed fillings?

What to call an Irishman bouncing off the wall? Rick O’Shay

If someone from Holland married a Filipino, would their kids be Hollapinos?

Why did the phone wear glasses? Because it lost all his contacts.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That’s humerus.

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B. Back.

And if that doesn’t do the trick, here is some advice from a reliable source:

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.

They say we can have gatherings with up to eight people without issues. I don’t even know eight people without issues.

Theme parks can snap a crystal-clear picture of you on a roller coaster going 70 mph, butbank cameras can’t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.

Someone posted that they had just made synonym buns. I replied “you mean just like the ones that grammar used to make?” I am now blocked

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers ... if you do find one, what’s your plan?

The more I get to know people, the more I realize why Noah let only animals on the boat.

Facial recognition software can pick a person out of a crowd but the vending machine at work can’t recognize a dollar bill with a bent corner.

When all this pandemic stuff is over, I still plan to wear a mask. It hides the perpetual look of annoyance I have for most people.

Covid-19 Fact: 87% of gym members don’t even know their gym is closed.

I never make the same mistake twice. I do it like, five or six times, you know, to make sure.

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

If you see someone buying candy, popcorn and a soda at the movies, they are a drug dealer. There’s no other explanation for that type of income.

After a year of this pandemic, I’m either going out for ice cream or to commit a felony. I’ll decide in the car.

I know it’s time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it’s an extra passenger who isn’t wearing a seat belt.

Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body will get rid of cellulite. Apparently you can’t do this in Starbucks. And now the cops are here.

Do not vaccinate health care workers first. If it fails, we’re all in trouble.

Vaccinate the politicians first. If we lose a few of them, it won’t matter.

In the 1980’s I fell off my bike and skinned my knee. I’m telling you this now because we didn’t have social media then.

Some people seem to have aged like fine wine. I aged like milk ... I got sour and chunky.

Dear Sneeze: If you’re going to happen, happen. Don’t just put a stupid look on my face and then leave.

Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, worthless, baconless years.

I still have a full deck... I just shuffle slower.