A hooded armed robber bursts into a bank and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door with the loot, one brave customer grabs the hood and pulls it off, revealing the robber’s face.

The robber shoots the guy dead without hesitation.

He then looks around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him. He sees one of the tellers looking straight at him; the robber walks over and calmly shoots him dead.

Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.

“Did anyone else see my face?” calls the robber. There follows a tense minute of silence. Then an elderly gentleman, looking down, tentatively raises his hand and says: “I think my wife caught a glimpse.” ~~~ An elderly man was working out in the neighborhood gym when a lovely young lady walked by.

He turned to the trainer and asked, “What machine should I use to impress that sweet young thing?”

“Try the ATM in the lobby,” the trainer said. ~~~ An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body.”

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”

The man replies, “That would be my wife.” ~~~